{"title":"Menopause-Hot, Hostile \u0026 Hormonally Haunted","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"566\"\u003eWelcome to the era no one warned you about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"568\" data-end=\"754\"\u003eThis collection is for the women who are:\u003cbr\u003e🔥 overheating for no reason\u003cbr data-start=\"638\" data-end=\"641\"\u003e💀 forgetting why they walked into the room\u003cbr data-start=\"684\" data-end=\"687\"\u003e😤 and one minor inconvenience away from a full personality shift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"756\" data-end=\"910\"\u003eFrom hot flashes to mood swings, these cards say what everyone’s thinking, but louder, funnier, and with just enough chaos to make it hurt (in a good way).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"1010\"\u003eWhether you’re buying for a friend, your mom, or yourself…\u003cbr\u003ebecause let’s be honest, you deserve it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1090\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1090\"\u003eNo sugar-coating. No boring messages.\u003cbr data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1054\"\u003eJust sweat, sarcasm, and survival.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"funny-menopause-card","title":"Funny Menopause Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"294\" data-end=\"350\"\u003eBecause apparently menopause comes with… bonus features.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"352\" data-end=\"548\"\u003eThis brutally honest (and slightly unhinged) card calls out the \u003cem data-start=\"416\" data-end=\"422\"\u003ereal\u003c\/em\u003e side effects no one warned you about. Perfect for the woman who’s handling it with humor, sarcasm, and just a touch of chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"550\" data-end=\"785\"\u003e💌 \u003cstrong data-start=\"553\" data-end=\"570\"\u003eInside reads:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAdditional side effects may include:\u003cbr data-start=\"607\" data-end=\"610\"\u003eLosing your patience in record time\u003cbr data-start=\"645\" data-end=\"648\"\u003eArguing with inanimate objects\u003cbr data-start=\"678\" data-end=\"681\"\u003eThreatening the thermostat\u003cbr data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"710\"\u003eQuestioning every life choice\u003cbr data-start=\"739\" data-end=\"742\"\u003eIf symptoms persist…\u003cbr data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"765\"\u003eblame everyone else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"787\" data-end=\"802\"\u003e🖤 Perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"803\" data-end=\"923\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"i7rz6x\" data-start=\"803\" data-end=\"839\"\u003eyour brutally honest best friend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"185dr2i\" data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"860\"\u003emenopause queens\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1pxfmfm\" data-start=\"861\" data-end=\"882\"\u003emoms who are DONE\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1wv6t09\" data-start=\"883\" data-end=\"923\"\u003eanyone living in their hot flash era\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"925\" data-end=\"935\"\u003e✨ Details:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"936\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1u6c3wm\" data-start=\"936\" data-end=\"955\"\u003e5x7 folded card\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gd476r\" data-start=\"956\" data-end=\"993\"\u003ePrinted on high-quality cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"v7b05u\" data-start=\"994\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003ePre-written inside message with room to write your own, if you dare.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1g8jrs9\" data-start=\"1025\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003eIncludes envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1048\" data-end=\"1120\"\u003eBecause sometimes the symptoms aren’t the problem…\u003cbr data-start=\"1098\" data-end=\"1101\"\u003eit’s everyone else.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"From the Depths of My Dysfunction...with Love","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44440453382279,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0690\/3762\/1383\/files\/warningmenopausefront.png?v=1775874971"},{"product_id":"funny-menopause-card-even-a-florida-gator-couldn-t-survive","title":"Funny Menopause Card – Even a Florida Gator Couldn’t Survive","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"342\" data-end=\"398\"\u003eBecause some days… you’re not just hot—you’re surviving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"400\" data-end=\"613\"\u003eThis funny but supportive card is perfect for the woman who’s going through it and still showing up like a legend. A little humor, a little truth, and just enough attitude to make her laugh when she needs it most.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"735\"\u003e💌 \u003cstrong data-start=\"618\" data-end=\"643\"\u003eInside message reads:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"643\" data-end=\"646\"\u003eEven a Florida gator couldn’t survive\u003cbr data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"686\"\u003ewhat you’re dealing with.\u003cbr data-start=\"711\" data-end=\"714\"\u003eYou’re doing amazing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"737\" data-end=\"752\"\u003e🖤 Perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"921\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"pthyo2\" data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"775\"\u003emenopause warriors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1bf5s43\" data-start=\"776\" data-end=\"812\"\u003eyour mom, sister, or best friend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"mqas33\" data-start=\"813\" data-end=\"872\"\u003eanyone dealing with hot flashes + life at the same time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"17f2yg1\" data-start=\"873\" data-end=\"921\"\u003ethe strong women who don’t get enough credit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"923\" data-end=\"933\"\u003e✨ Details:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"934\" data-end=\"1044\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1u6c3wm\" data-start=\"934\" data-end=\"953\"\u003e5x7 folded card\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gd476r\" data-start=\"954\" data-end=\"991\"\u003ePrinted on high-quality cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"v7b05u\" data-start=\"992\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003ePre-written inside message with space to write your own too\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1g8jrs9\" data-start=\"1023\" data-end=\"1044\"\u003eIncludes envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1114\"\u003eBecause sometimes the strongest people\u003cbr data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1087\"\u003eneed the realest reminders.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"From the Depths of My Dysfunction...with Love","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44440507154567,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0690\/3762\/1383\/files\/gatormenopausefront.png?v=1775875674"},{"product_id":"funny-menopause-card-you-re-breathing-fire","title":"Funny Menopause Card – You’re Not Sweating, You’re Breathing Fire","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"259\" data-end=\"302\"\u003eBecause it’s not sweat… it’s straight fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"304\" data-end=\"481\"\u003eThis bold, funny menopause card is perfect for the woman who’s feeling the heat and owning it. Simple, savage, and way more accurate than anything a doctor’s pamphlet ever said.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"483\" data-end=\"559\"\u003e💌 \u003cstrong data-start=\"486\" data-end=\"511\"\u003eInside message reads:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"511\" data-end=\"514\"\u003eYou’re not sweating.\u003cbr data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"537\"\u003eYou’re breathing fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"561\" data-end=\"576\"\u003e🖤 Perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"577\" data-end=\"708\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"hwxygh\" data-start=\"577\" data-end=\"602\"\u003emenopause humor gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1tno2qo\" data-start=\"603\" data-end=\"629\"\u003ehot flash survivors 🔥\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"96sdsz\" data-start=\"630\" data-end=\"668\"\u003eyour mom, best friend, or coworker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1vj65by\" data-start=\"669\" data-end=\"708\"\u003eanyone in their “don’t test me” era\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"710\" data-end=\"720\"\u003e✨ Details:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"831\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1u6c3wm\" data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"740\"\u003e5x7 folded card\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gd476r\" data-start=\"741\" data-end=\"778\"\u003ePrinted on high-quality cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"v7b05u\" data-start=\"779\" data-end=\"809\"\u003ePre-written inside message but still room to right your own...if you dare \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1g8jrs9\" data-start=\"810\" data-end=\"831\"\u003eIncludes envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"833\" data-end=\"873\"\u003eBecause subtlety is no longer an option.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"From the Depths of My Dysfunction...with Love","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44440543035527,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0690\/3762\/1383\/files\/menopausebreathingfirefront.png?v=1775876105"},{"product_id":"funny-menopause-card-the-real-problem-isn-t-the-heat","title":"Funny Menopause Card – The Real Problem Isn’t the Heat","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"283\" data-end=\"338\"\u003eBecause let’s be honest… it’s not just the temperature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"340\" data-end=\"487\"\u003eThis funny menopause card delivers the perfect mix of sarcasm and truth. Designed for women who are dealing with the heat—and everyone around them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"489\" data-end=\"571\"\u003e💌 \u003cstrong data-start=\"492\" data-end=\"517\"\u003eInside message reads:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"517\" data-end=\"520\"\u003eThe real problem isn’t the heat.\u003cbr data-start=\"552\" data-end=\"555\"\u003eIt’s the people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"573\" data-end=\"635\"\u003e(And yes—there’s still room to write your own message inside.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"637\" data-end=\"652\"\u003e🖤 Perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"653\" data-end=\"798\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"hwxygh\" data-start=\"653\" data-end=\"678\"\u003emenopause humor gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"i7rz6x\" data-start=\"679\" data-end=\"715\"\u003eyour brutally honest best friend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1p8r761\" data-start=\"716\" data-end=\"751\"\u003emoms who are DONE with everyone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"tvc7al\" data-start=\"752\" data-end=\"798\"\u003eanyone living in their “don’t test me” era\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"800\" data-end=\"810\"\u003e✨ Details:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"811\" data-end=\"962\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1u6c3wm\" data-start=\"811\" data-end=\"830\"\u003e5x7 folded card\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gd476r\" data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"868\"\u003ePrinted on high-quality cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"v7b05u\" data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"899\"\u003ePre-written inside message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"19llukb\" data-start=\"900\" data-end=\"940\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"902\" data-end=\"938\"\u003eExtra space to add your own note\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1g8jrs9\" data-start=\"941\" data-end=\"962\"\u003eIncludes envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"964\" data-end=\"1014\"\u003eBecause sometimes the temperature isn’t the issue…\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"From the Depths of My Dysfunction...with Love","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44440575574151,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0690\/3762\/1383\/files\/hotflashqueenfront.png?v=1775876540"},{"product_id":"funny-menopause-card-no-filter-no-patience-no-regrets","title":"Funny Menopause Card – No Filter No Patience No Regrets","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"380\"\u003eWelcome to the era where everything changes… and so does your tolerance level.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"382\" data-end=\"539\"\u003eThis bold, sarcastic menopause card says what everyone’s thinking—with zero filter. Perfect for the woman who’s fully entered her “I said what I said” phase.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"541\" data-end=\"648\"\u003e💌 \u003cstrong data-start=\"544\" data-end=\"569\"\u003eInside message reads:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"569\" data-end=\"572\"\u003eYOU NOW HAVE\u003cbr data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"587\"\u003eNO FILTER.\u003cbr data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"600\"\u003eNO PATIENCE.\u003cbr data-start=\"612\" data-end=\"615\"\u003eNO REGRETS.\u003cbr data-start=\"626\" data-end=\"629\"\u003eWELCOME TO THE CLUB\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"650\" data-end=\"712\"\u003e(And yes—there’s still room inside to write your own message.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"714\" data-end=\"729\"\u003e🖤 Perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"730\" data-end=\"877\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"hwxygh\" data-start=\"730\" data-end=\"755\"\u003emenopause humor gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"i7rz6x\" data-start=\"756\" data-end=\"792\"\u003eyour brutally honest best friend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"heracb\" data-start=\"793\" data-end=\"836\"\u003emoms who are DONE explaining themselves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1tku9lk\" data-start=\"837\" data-end=\"877\"\u003eanyone embracing their no-filter era\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"889\"\u003e✨ Details:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"890\" data-end=\"1041\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1u6c3wm\" data-start=\"890\" data-end=\"909\"\u003e5x7 folded card\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gd476r\" data-start=\"910\" data-end=\"947\"\u003ePrinted on high-quality cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"v7b05u\" data-start=\"948\" data-end=\"978\"\u003ePre-written inside message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"19llukb\" data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"1019\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"981\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003eExtra space to add your own note\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1g8jrs9\" data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1041\"\u003eIncludes envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1043\" data-end=\"1097\"\u003eBecause growth is great… but so is not caring anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"From the Depths of My Dysfunction...with Love","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44440611291271,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0690\/3762\/1383\/files\/menopauseunlockedfront.png?v=1775876893"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0690\/3762\/1383\/collections\/menopause_banner_shopify.png?v=1775874380","url":"https:\/\/depthsofdysfunction.myshopify.com\/collections\/menopause-hot-hostile-hormonally-haunted.oembed","provider":"From the Depths of My Dysfunction...with Love","version":"1.0","type":"link"}